A year ago maybe in a similar time of the year 2018, I have made up my mind to apply a GO SLOW to the most passionate field I had worked in for over 36 years and took a leap of faith to learn altogether new field of which I knew a very little about.
An idea of becoming a coach has instilled in my mind, after an unsuccessful attempt to get selected as a Stanford SEED coach.
The story of SEED coach has began like this.
Somewhere I have come across a post on LinkedIn from Stanford, inviting applications from Industry leaders and job creators to be volunteered as a SEED coach. The concept of SEED Coach has almost mesmerized me and I decided to venture at unknown.
The things went well until the submitting of application and getting the first call for an online Interview from SEED Coordinator.
My life spun soon after the first (and the last) interview from SEED. I realized that although the concept which mesmerized me, in reality I was not qualified enough for this program of SEED, no matter how much I put forth my candidature as a trainer, as a guide, as a mentor or as a coach.
I realised that I was lacking a precise and systematic training as a Coach. I did not have anything to my support which would give confidence to others that I will really be able to handle the ‘Coaching’.
Hence, becoming a certified coach has become my Goal thereafter and I was 'all in go' for that.
Becoming a coach seemed a way for me to continue doing what I love the most - like helping others to develop themselves and get what they want out of their lives and careers which I was doing anyway at a different level and time as and when it was needed.
Like many others, I thought coaching would be an add-on to what I am doing already- training, mentoring and a limited form of coaching as such.
I enrolled for a course to get certified as a Life Coach and an Executive coach. Being a learner by nature, it was not difficult for me to go through the certification as I was able to focus well on my learning along with my regular job routine.
Coaching made me curious and fascinated, initially but soon an anxiety questioned me – would I really do it and do it well enough?
It was getting a feeling being exposed, vulnerable and nervous. I felt lack of confidence, started doubting my own thoughts, abilities and achievements I had in the past. I was experiencing a feeling of inadequacy as if I am not good enough - an imposter syndrome.
I needed a time to calm down my anxiety and reinstall the confidence in myself- ‘YES I can’.
It was a difficult task on my hands -the confident Technocrat and my own field Industry expert was to be replaced by the novice coach. I have to mold myself from ‘Who’, ‘Why,’ and ‘What’ of ‘Technocracy' to learn new ways of being, becoming and doing. I have to do major unlearning of what I have learnt to make space for new learning.
In past, I did for others but this time it was not for others, it was about helping myself to bring about the changes, starting all over a ‘NEW’ again- Rebooting.. without getting trapped in the titles and positions I held in my company.
It’s almost six months are on, I am inching on my coaching journey, step by step, writing blogs, writing posts, interacting with coaches and people, sharing experiences, learning from their experiences and deepening my knowledge about coaching.
It helped me to understand that you have everything you need, within yourself, to develop self-trust so that you can become the person you wanted to become and able to re-discover yourself!!