• nitinmistry

My dining table seat- a power play

Updated: Dec 21, 2019

Our dining table is very dear to us, something we have visualized, conceptualized and later implemented in reality. Its partner chairs were searched all over the furniture shops and online sites and I guess we made google also frustrate over our search. I am sure you can imagine how much a sense of the sentiments it carries!

My “self-designated” place at the table was in the center position, usually Head of the Family prefer to sit, which in my mind was ‘Power Play’ position.

I experienced something recently when one of our guests had accidentally taken my seat. Although I waited till He finished eating however, deep inside I wanted to reason out with myself why. This place was indeed my comfort zone, where I enjoyed every meal.

While my mind searched for justifications to rationalize this possessive behavior of mine, this realization honestly surprised me.

One of them was that everyone in the family had their favorite seat, and so it was okay for me to have mine. However, in the days that followed, my mind would go back to this incident and I was trying to figure out the WHY.

My ‘Power Play’ seat indeed was a place that has provided me to be comfortable and relaxed as I knew exactly how that chair and space hold a place in my heart.

But, as I understand, comfort can also be self-limiting, which holds me back from other possible places on the dining table and even the desire to experience the difference between them. I believe, tremendous learning potential they hold for me.

It’s only when I pushed myself to experience the seats on the right side or left side to my center seat that I even had the chance to enjoy the far better view it offered, a view I’d never had in so many years.

You may wonder why is such a big deal being made about a place and a chair of the dining table ? I deliberately mentioned about this because quite unknowing, we claim ‘ownership’ and get attached to not just things but our thoughts and ideologies too. Which then makes us closed to other ideologies and powerful experiences that in turn holds great learning and growth.

To thrive in a changing and volatile world, the openness to embracing change is key; and when one’s mind is fixed to things and thoughts, this openness suffers. Learning suffers too, as the first step for learning is the openness and excitement to explore the new.

On my journey as a coach, I try to gather a deeper understanding of self, while I partner with others with empathy in their journeys.

This makes me observe what is happening to and around me with curiosity and take note of every incident big or small which enable me to understand myself a little bit more. And through my understanding of self, here is what emerged for me that often, our routines give discipline, comfort, and predictability to our life. Like my center seat, to some others, it may be the class backbench or that black mug in which coffee tastes just right, or Maggie noodles for every Saturday evening, or a third window seat of my staff bus, or buying vegetables always from the same vendor or anything similar!

I believe the first step is to stay conscious and recognize the small things that limit us and our beliefs. A good thing to start could be with material attachments because they are easier to spot! And those attachments can help us to uncover more, like my “Power Play’ which I did now!

Developing the ability to be less attached and less fixed in one’s ideologies and viewpoints will directly contribute to our learning and our ultimate growth as an individual.

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